Thursday, May 22, 2008

baby steps

Sorry for the delay...but yesterday we made the great escape from the hospital to our friends condo near diamond head. I have been in a state of such awe over the last 24 hours I can't find words to express myself...I am walking around kissing flowers and just saying wow to everything God has created. The contrast of living in a 12x12 hospital room, mostly in isolation for 2 and a half months, to being free to walk in Diamond Head Park (albeit slowly)...let's just say there is a lot of crying for happy and thank you God's going on! And in the midst of all that wonder is thanks for you! Your love, your prayers, your support...I love each of you so much. In the physical world it seems as if there was a whole lot of suffering for nothing because we didn't knock out the cancer, but when Shelly and I were checking out of the hospital, the nurses, the aides, even some of our doctors were all crying with us as we said goodbye. You know why? God's goodness...we formed bonds...as they prayed for us we prayed for them. We got to know their families, their struggles, their needs through these months...we all fell in love with each other...they witnessed the power of God's love shinning in the midst of some real darkness...it wasn't contrived or fake...it just was squeezed out of what had been stored up in years of relationship with the source of all strength...Jesus Christ the living God. Shelly and I were constantly telling God's hospital servants what wonderful, special gifts they are...how much we appreciate their gifts of compassion day in and day out as they minister to the suffering...and there is a lot of suffering going on in there. The whole staff was in awe of your support and love...they had never seen anything like it...we even had nurses and doctors following the blog, the run for kit, the constant barrage of letters, cards, calls...all of us knew...in the physical nothings really happening...he isn't being cured, but in the spiritual everything was happening...not only was I being cured but all of us were receiving healings in every area of our lives. We left a couple big boxes of all kinds of goodies at the nurses station for 2nd floor oncology staff as a symbol of thanks. We said goodbye to room 223, my window and a whole myriad of emotions, lessons, pain and joy...as I walked out of the hospital and Shelly drove me to the condo I was experiencing an overwhelming sense of God's love which has flown so freely and naturally from you...I flashed back on times where your love & support just held me when I couldn't hold up any longer. I think, how wonderful it is to have loved ones. I want you to know how pleased God is with your heart...how do I know? He told me so! The Lord is with you today and a ready help regardless of how big the problem is...because He is always bigger. So, I wanted to let you know...we have successfully made the half step from the hospital to the big, open, world here at the Petulla's condo near Diamond Head. Next stop...home to Maui June 1. My blood counts are holding strong...I have to go real slow, but I really feel God's hand and your prayers protecting me. I really do "cry for happy" and I can't wait to touch the ground of my beloved Maui home. Shelly and I are doing good right now and we are holding you close to our hearts.

God isn't done yet...I am still here! So we continue to pray for His miracle and it feels so good to know you are praying right along side of us. The Lord will guide and lead us at each step from here on out. That's the thing about Abba, He is just full of all kinds of miraculous stuff!! May He richly bless you today.

love,
kit & Shelly

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

So happy you're free. May Papa reveal Himself to you in more miraculous ways each day.
God bless,
Dr. O.

michael, ciara & mikaela said...

We "cry for happy"!! Literally. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, and we are so filled with Joy that you are finally on your way back to us! Hugs and Kisses,
ciara, michael and mikaela

Josh said...

I love you and your family. Be blessed. You have taken James 1:2-4 to a whole new level.

lita said...

I played this song this morning:

"Let everything that has breath Praise the Lord"

....and I did just that...praised the Lord

For your recovery
For your strength
For your spirit
For the words you have spoken
For the hearts you have touched
For the lives you have changed

We love you both so very much, and we are waiting patiently for your return....

Anonymous said...

Rock on KIT!!!I am praying every day!love bro jeff in cali!

Nicole and Naseem Aboudaher said...

Absolutely still praying for your healing! Love you so much and am so happy you are out of the hospital. So excited to see you in Gods beautiful world! Love Nicole

GoodMorningChamp said...

Hello Champ,

It's amazing how our paradigms change when the Lord has our full attention. Take full stock in those experiences and memories from RM#223 as they have sculpted us all and even those you do not know.

God chose the right man in choosing you!!

We love, cherish and admire you and are in flat out prayer for a healed body for you!

Love,
Celia,Marina, Rhonda and Scott

Lisa said...

I am so happy to hear you have started your journey back home to Maui! Enjoy the beauty of Diamond Head while you are there and I will continue to pray for your safe return home!!!

--Lisa E.

Anonymous said...

hi precious kit and shelly
today i'm thanking God for room #223. God and His ways are truly WAY beyond us. Not only has He changed you from that 12x12, somehow your stay there has stretched my heart with a yearning that God just does whatever He likes. all of it.
thanks for sharing your refining - you didn't have to, but you love us so you just did.
may God make the condo a delight(yes, kinda like a honeymoon, blush...) for you two. mikey and shae...move over!!! :)
with respect and SO MUCH LOVE!!!
carrie nichols

lorensaved77 said...

Dear Kit and Shelly
Alot of "crying for happy" going on here as we rejoice for your freedom, although many lives were touched by your presence there in the hospital, it is Awesome to know you are free of that type of environment.
I know well how that feels to be finally able to bring your precious love home and "Breath again"
I am so thankful that words just can't describe the admiration I have for your testimony on how to live completly filled with the Holy Spirit!
You Shine so brightly for Jesus we all need shades!!!
Love you both and are eager for your return to Maui!

Love, Blessings and Aloha,
The Loren Family,
John, Nancy, Jonathon & Michelle

Mele said...

Sooooo good to hear from you. Shelly I hope you are feeling better. We will be counting the days to your return.
All that you have been through, you are a miracle. God's work is never ending.

Love and prayers,

The Stricklands

Anonymous said...

Kit I love you and I am so proud to say I know a man with a heart of gold like you. i MISS YOU AND HOPE TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK TO MAUI! Enjoy the views. I will never forget the day you talked about when you were on a run and you saw the hybiscus and you saw God's love and beauty and cried. Thank you for being such an inspiration. I am praying for you andyour healing. Love Hayden

Anonymous said...

We love you and look forward to your home coming!

Lots of love & prayers,
Cliff & Jeri

Anonymous said...

You're an amazing guy, Kit. You're whole family is amazing and incredible. Reading your blog is like reading Paul's words of hope to the early church. You never cease to encourage others even in the midst of your own struggles.

Glad you are on your way home!
Praying always,
Andrea:)

iamzoran said...

Aloha Kit and Family,

Kit, once you placed your hand on my shoulder as you exited the service and said few encouraging words. The words are long gone from my memory but I can not forget the day as I look fondly in your eyes and write this note.

I rewound the blog and went through the journey from the beginning.

This is what i get out of it:

Just beneath the surface of every human, you will find a soul in need. 2:20PM April 6 2008

Day-16: We didn't get the news that we were all praying for.
. . . and if that doesn't work there may be a new . . . April 10

I could have decided to go home, receive some blood transfusions for a few months, but eventually, barring a miracle from God, go quietly into the night. But, collectively, we have all felt that the Lord can still use me...that 60 is to young to just lay it down...so we have taken the aggressive stance of a cure . . . April 26

At each level of suffering, I found the Lord as my ultimate comfort, "...for when I am weak then HE is strong..." 2 Cor. I have come to the end of myself, yet as promised, the Lord has continually renewed my spirit. When we come to the end of ourselves, then we discover the faith hidden deep within our soul, a faith that has had years of a deep trusting relationship of the love that God has for us in Christ. My advice to all, is to continue laying your foundation deep into the ROCK, who is the lover of your soul, Jesus Christ, the living God, who gave his life for ours. My hope is in Him. Whether I remain for Him here on planet earth, or He takes me home, my life is in His hands. April 30

They [dogs] truly love you for better or worse. . .

That's what we all really want and need, and the beautiful thing is that we have the opportunity to give that kind of love to each other. I really think (believe) the source of that opportunity flows from the One that created us. He gives each of us an opportunity in each of our lives to be like that little puppy to give that touch to someone...our family, our friends, our children, our spouses.

It's really a choice that we make to either be consumed by the ups and downs that we face in life, and all of the pressures, or to focus on the flow of that type of unconditional love that God is so willing to give to us and, in turn, to give it to others.

Basically, just take a deep breath from whatever you are struggling with today and just trust that God will give you a gift that exceeds anything you could ever imagine." May 2

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

-Ephesians 3:20



My prayer for you today is that regardless whether you are riding high on the wings of blessing right now or find yourself in a deep dark valley that you would know that everywhere you are the love of God your creator is with you. He tells us,..."whoever seeks me with all their heart will find me..." Sometimes we are so weak we can't seem to find the strength to even seek after Him, it is in these times He seeks after us. He will leave the whole flock He tends to go after His lost little lamb. His love for you is un-ending finding it's full expression in the offering of His Son's life for yours. His gift to you of life everlasting, His provision to those who place their trust and hope in Him. It is my prayer for us all today that we would hold very lightly to those things temporary and passing, to the cares, the set backs, the ups-and downs of life's circumstances and that we would all hold on tightly to those things that are eternal. Forgiveness, love expressed when we consider our friend, our spouse, our child as more precious, more valuable then ourselves, our own needs. As we do this God meets our needs in a deep profound and supernaturally way. Don't manipulate, use, or ill think of anyone, do good to all, be bright lites in a world filled with incomprehensible darkness and pain. We must at times allow our protective bubbles to be burst now and then to know the deep treasures found only in a place of great need and the touch of the love of God. Again, no matter where you are, His love is there. Give your heart to the lover of your soul and He will empower your life today in marvelous ways and victories felt to just always be slightly out of your reach will be yours and when you face the end of self your hope will swell from the knowledge of the great gift of eternal life, the ultimate weapon against death and fear...we can rest our heads in the hands of the author and giver of life who freely gives new life now and forever for all who call on His name. I face the hope of more life here on earth as we wait for bone marrow tests May 12 and an answer on the 13th...regardless God has prepared my heart to live for Him with razor-like crispness and re-newed focus should He choose, but also to die a warrior for Him, leaving nothing on the table but being being thoroughly used up for His good and perfect will. May the God of all life bless your life today, encourage, even re-create you, give you power to overcome, victories, a sense of great value and worth...for you posses the ability to reflect His divine glory. Go for it! My love for you can not be expressed in words...so I pray God's Spirit presses this love into your hearts for me. May 4


This process we are witnessing speaks so highly of the gift the creator has endowed each of us with in very unique, individual and special ways. I guess that is the main thing God has impressed on my heart to offer you today. From a place of complete brokenness and with a humble and contrite heart and spirit, I offer this to you today. I feel He (the creator of all that is good, right, pure, lovely...the things our spirits love to cling to...eternally valuable things...things worth fighting for in life against the harshness of the world )...I offer the eye of God for you today. The way God sees you. I was awaken by the early dawn outside my 12x12 cubicle which could be viewed as a little prison or it can be what it has become...a place of infinite value to me...a place that opens up a whole universe of revelation because I am with the creator of the universe and He is my teacher and guide. Those of you who know His touch in the dark places of life know what I am expressing. We are never a prisoner in a dark place as long as we have the light of Him who dispels the darkness, even in death He holds our victory...for His life has swallowed up death and loneliness and separation and brings us life everlasting. But for today, God tells me how much He loves you, how valuable you are to Him, regardless of what anyone thinks or says...you are His precious one. As I was saying, at dawn I awoke and I heard the birds singing their songs...really a song of praise...we are alive, we reflect the beauty of an intricate, unfathomably creative creator and yet as beautiful as the moment was I was reminded of how Jesus looked to the little birds and how the Father took care of them and then He turned to the hurting, the weak, the helpless, the lost, the innocent that so often just get trampled in life...He turned to those looking for significance and fulfillment outside of a world that is so often shallow, superficial...and baits things to appear to be good that in the end only bring disaster...the manifesting of God in flesh points to the little birds, as beautiful as they are and tells the thirsty, those hungering for meaning and purpose to their lives "do you not know how much more valuable you are to the Father than these"...and God demonstrates your value by giving the gift of His Son...His life for ours that we may enjoy that deep, rich, real fulfilling relationship that we were created for in the first place forever. So lift your head up today dear one, you are His prize, His joy, His love forever...when you hear the birds sing early in the morning it His heart singing to you His love song. Our job is simply to respond to His love song with all our hearts, do good in a dark world and as the Lord says your light will shine before men bringing glory to your Father in heaven. Every outpouring of your love, your prayers and your support for me and my family shines forth like the brilliance of the noon day sun...people see it, they feel it, they experience it...so rise little flock and bring forth your song of praise to His magnificence and know that the magnificent one desires to shower you with His love today. You are His prize possession! May 6


Another day of being sustained by God upon your prayers! I am so blessed these last few days with some strength, no sickness/infections, food tastes good even...but best of all I have a sense of incredible closeness to you and God. As mother's day approaches I am reminded of the heart of a mother...naturally self-sacrificing, looking to the concerns of her loved ones above herself...a mother just exudes the love Christ has for us. I think the fullness of a mother's love is never truly appreciated until our own experiences in life become deep enough to really see her inner beauty. Sometimes we strain at a picture of a mother or loved one or a friend in a season of God's preparation of the beauty God is working on just beneath the surface and if we are not patient with our loved ones, forgiving and compassionate, we can turn away with the image of that beauty concealed and miss the revealing of the work God is really doing. Let me put it this way...I have been afforded a 7x7 window out of my hospital room that looks out and up into the Manaloa Valley...this is an extreme blessing to me for the valley holds many wonders, in fact, treasures are everywhere I look. One of the treasures is a special species of eucalyptus tree. Out of over 700 species of these trees, originally from Australia, Hawaii has developed its own unique species. It is called "rainbow eucalyptus" and oh how appropriately it is named. At times the ordinary outer bark peels back to reveal an explosion of brilliant rainbow colors that are a delight to behold. The curious thing is that the rainbow bark is not always fully exposed. In fact, at times the bark seems ordinary, dull, anything but brilliant and beautiful. This is a lesson for us. Sometimes our moms may not seem to be all that beauty and brilliance...sometimes our friends let us down, sometimes people are just in that place where on the surface they don't look all that beautiful...perhaps our relationships are strained, maybe they even seem broken, but that place is temporary...it's just God preparing the inner beauty of that rainbow eucalyptus, later to peel off that bark and reveal the marvelous treasure inside. Perhaps we should leave some room for moms and friends and loved ones to be prepared inside by God during those harder times in our relationships and perhaps it is better for us all to always look and remember all the times those moms , loved ones and friends have shined through to reveal those brilliant rainbow colors that enhance and enrich our lives daily. It is my prayer today that you will join me in giving thanks to all the rainbow eucalyptus trees out there in our lives, especially our moms.

You all continue to be such wonderful support and a source of inspiration to me as we wait upon the Lord to deliver His miracle! Again and again I never cease to be overwhelmed by your love and support. Every card, gift, letter, prayer, good thought, e-mail and blog post is noted and embraced with deep gratitude and a sense of more love, more concern and more care than any one man should ever have. I am steadfast in the Lord, living for His glory alone, for my life is His to use as He pleases. May 7


I got a little drawing from TJ today, Laura and Todd's little man and he wanted to send a note to "uncle kit"...everyone on Maui is an auntie and uncle by the way...so he sent me this picture of a honu (turtle)...he must intuitively know I love the honu...and he had pasted over the turtle some stickers of airplanes and helicopters, things he says he wants us to play with together when I get better. Through TJ I see that really big things are often found in the smallest of things. In fact, God uses the small things in our lives to make really big things take place. The "big things" are often really small to God. What is the biggest thing you have on your plate today?...that really big thing that may have a strangle hold on you right now, that is ripping you off from life, that is consuming all your thoughts, time and energy...basically God wants it. In fact He says over and over in His word...give it to me...give me that burden, that big thing. And when we do He miraculously makes it small...and in its place He takes the small things, the things of Him, the sweet and good and pure little things and He makes them huge in our lives. As we have this exchange with God our lives become filled with the "little things" that bring us great joy and life eternal. You know life eternal isn't just living and being sustained by God for all eternity, but the life Jesus gives us through His death and resurrection is also a type of life we live right now. It is a life free from a lot of the fears that plaque humanity. It is a life which gives rise to deep meaning and purpose no matter how small or insignificant we may seem...I am in a 12x12 cubicle tied to bags and drip lines and blood testing devices and have never felt so alive and used of God.



Many years ago, I lost a dear friend, Randy Insley, to cancer. My son, Mikey, now 21, was just a little guy. As we both prayed for Randy, I could tell Mikey's little spirit was concerned that Randy may die. I assured him that Randy had the gift of eternal life and that he wasn't afraid to die because he knew Jesus and had received the gift of eternal life. Mikey seemed ok with that and I would quiz him once and a while..."now Mikey, I would say, when we face death we don't have to be afraid because?"...and he would say turtle life daddy, Jesus gives us turtle life!...I thought it was so cute the way he said eternal life because it sounded like turtle life. Then quite sometime later out of the blue he said, "daddy when I die and go to be with Jesus in heaven is that when I get the turtles?" Ever since that moment, the honu, the turtle, has become a symbol of the purity and innocence of a little child's heart to me and the great promise of God. In a child's heart the really "big things" become small and the small things like little diamonds embedded in a huge mountain become the stuff of "turtle life." May you live today and everyday involved with all your heart in God's "little things."

I know that we are all disappointed with the results of the bone marrow test which showed still... 60 per cent cancer cells. At a time like this it feels like our hopes and prayers have just lost all their air...like withered balloons, but I want you to know that God hears every one of your prayers, He weeps when you weep, He hurts when you hurt and He understands your heart, as you labor in prayer for me.
We often feel disappointed or perplexed by why God does not answer our prayers, since there are so many of us , offering up the same petition. It seems reasonable that God would leave me here to preach and teach since He has prepared me for that and even used this experience to fine tune the instrument.. Yet, He did not answer our prayer the way that we wanted it to be answered , which could mean a couple of things. 1. He is waiting for me to go through all this medical treatment , walk out of the hospital, be pronounced incurable.. and then He performs the miracle...2.He has other ideas , after all the Bible tells us that His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts.. His thoughts are much higher than our thoughts, in-fact so high, who can fathom them...?? When God has not answered the prayer of our heart , we have to keep in mind God's job.
He has to sustain and control a universe that is 156 billion light years in expanse. He has to allow for a mixture of human limited free choice, which results in sin and corruption and He is carefully moving every molecule and every event toward His measured end. To put it in laymen's terms, God is in absolute control ( He is sovereign)
So the reasons for miracles and the timing of them are therefore completely up to God.
This is what we need prayer for . I need to stop having infections. I need to have my own blood counts come up and if I can establish them at normal or near normal, I can come home to Maui, where I can spend some quality time with my family and maybe even give a message or two . . May 9

I would like that Kit.

z

Liza's Eyeview said...

hmmmm... I think iamzoran got a little carried away leaving a looong comment ;)... I guess he's really been blessed by the postings :)

glad to read this post and looking forward to your return to Maui - JUNE 1 - yahoo!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kit and Shelly :)

We are so glad to hear that you are out of the hospital, at last!! It sounds like you have touched many lives inside, as well as outside those hospital walls. My husband and I have yet to meet you both at Hope Chapel, but we feel that we have had the gift of getting to know you through your amazing blog entries. You each have shared such beautiful entries expressing your devoted love for God, one another, and your church. Thank you for sharing your intimate journey with all of us. We can't wait for your return to Maui. It will be such a happy day for us all!!

You are always in our prayers... God bless,

Julianne and Jerry Baltrus

kirsten said...

You have been in our prayers continually for the past months..whether is is in the middle of the night or during the day that the Lord places you on our hearts. It is amazing to see how God has been with you through this whole trail. His love is RICH!!
You are a treasure Kit Lauer! All the lives that have been touched through you..and continue to be touched..is amazing. I look forward to hear how God is strengthening you daily. We miss you guys...it is not the same living in Oregon, but we still feel so connected to you all from Hope. Bless you today as you experience more of God. We love you both
Kirsten and Dale Haas

Anonymous said...

Kit, it doesn't surprise me that so many people at the hospital was touch by you being there. Everywhere you go you have touched people with the love of GOD. Which last a life time. I haven't seen you in many years and I'm still learning things from you.
I will continue having faith in what God has for you.

Love you Kit Lauer
Ben Anderson
P.S. I am a married man now. WOW!!

Beth said...

As Jacques and I were laying on the trampoline looking up at the stars last night in amazement of God's creation, we said our nightly prayers. In request for spiritual, emotional, and physical healing and for you to be able to leave the hospital. Then we opened your blog this morning, to find answered prayer! God is amazing!! And he is so good to all of us! We love you Kit!!
Beth & Jacques

Heather said...

I just wanted you to know how beautiful it ws to read what you wrote about Shelly. Every wife longs to hear words like that from her husband and so few actually get to hear them. It is also a blessing to see you two serve each other, take care of each other, love each other and protect each other. Enjoy this time together. Celebrate the "half step"! These joyous times are intertwined with the painful ones. ENJOY, take it ALL in, Your remarkable journey is not over!
Love and Prayer, Heather Overholt
PS) My fiance and I have been reading a book called "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. Wow! It is incredible!

Michael said...

I am praying for you Kit! Thank you for all of the time, love, and encouragement you have invested in my life! You are a blessing, a light, and an encouragement to us all! Just know that God's wisdom and love through you has made a difference in my life! You are a testimony to Christ's love! All praise be to God our Father and Lord Jesus Christ!

In Christ,
Michael Chatman

uncle bones said...

Kit, we are encouraged by your blog. Our hearts ache for you and your family, and we are also excited for the continued positive affect you have in peoples' lives. Thank you for allowing God's presence shine through you, you are truly an example and an encouragement. We pray that God's presence would continue to surround you and your loved ones. With much love, Tyler and Elizabeth Denton.

Anonymous said...

Every time I look at my baptism picture from Presidents Day at Kam III(Wife and I), the look of encouragement from Kit is what this man is all about. Praise god for faithful servants like the Lauers. Hope Chapel Maui is forever blessed.

Anonymous said...

Praise God for faithful servants like the Lauers.(This is how the second to the last line should read).

Ron & Barbara said...

Kit and Shelly, you are inspiring,
We think it has all been said, and we are with Josh, that you are living James 1:2-4.
Now we are clinging to all the promises of God on your behalf.....
We like this scripture
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. HE will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom Isaiah 40:28
Ron and Barb Crabtree

Joe and Karen said...

Yippeeeee!!! That condo rocks! Thank God for the Petulla's generosity! Know that you are going to soak in God's beauty in the sea and the park and the beach and Diamond Head!Rest and get strong. We are so happy you and Shelly get this time together.

See you soon!
Much love, the Johnsons

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Lauers,
Sooo happy for you! What good news-that you are out, and together! We rejoice with you and cry for happy, too! :)
Thanks so much for letting us into your lives through the faithful journaling on this site...many hearts, ours included, have been forever impacted.
Loving you tons and continuing to pray for healing and God's best over you all.
Randy & Julie O.

Anonymous said...

Kit,you have such a gift for words!! Thank you for saying what we are all feeling now concerning the Johnsons.We love you and continue to lift you and your family up to the Lord! Joyce and Jesse